The Power of Touch

When newborns' 9-month lease is terminated (aka childbirth lol), one of the very first things health care professionals will do is place the evicted tenant (aka the baby lol x2) onto their parents' chest. "Kangaroo care" or skin-to-skin contact has been studied thoroughly and has been proven to bring many benefits to both parties involved (see the full list here).

Although I do not work in a neonatal clinical setting, most of the patients I have been taking care of lately are under two years of age. Now, I am not gonna lie, I am OBSESSED with them. Despite their constant cries and irritability, it is hard to get angry at these littles ones for using the only way they know to express themselves when they feel unwell. Hence, like parents, the job of pediatric nurses is trying to figure out what is bothering them, or what they need in order to console them. Oftentimes, a pacifier, a gentle "pat-pat", sucrose, milk, food, toys, crib rocking, or soothing music should suffice. However, nothing quite eases an infant like being held in someone's arms.

At times, the fragility of their physical state makes it difficult to do so. With several wires and tubings on their being (namely an ETT tube, pacer wires, chest tubes, etc.), it is best to resort to non-manipulative methods. But, when the opportunity rises, carrying a baby is encouraged as the power of touch is multifaceted.

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A. A. is a 16-month-old baby who has been living rent-free at the hospital since birth. On top of being a premmie, she was born with multiple congenital diseases requiring around-the-clock care that is too complex to deal with in a normal home. Her past medical history involves a plethora of conditions of almost all organ systems. Medical services that have been involved in her care are neurology, ophthalmology, ENT, endocrinology, respiratory, cardiac surgery, infectious diseases, gastroenterology, intensive care and palliative care. I won't delve into the details, but will give you a description of how she looked like when I took care of her.

The number one thing you must all know is that A.A. is absolutely CUTE! She looked like a miniature baby version of the Michelin man: chunky, plump and full of baby rolls. Due to hypersalivation and malformed respiratory structures, a feeding tube was installed directly into her stomach and duodenum to prevent the risk of aspiration. She weighed about 20kg given that she has been GT/GD-fed her whole life. She is blind, requires continuous oxygen through nasal prongs, is unable to sit up (which is a milestone normally achieved by peers of her age), and had a drain evacuating her gastric contents due to gastroparesis and a recent GI bleed from stress-dose steroids that were used to treat her while she was in septic shock. She is indeed one of the most complex patients I've ever had.

Despite all her intricacies, A.A. was like any other infant. She enjoyed listening to music, playing with noisy toys, talking to those who would converse with her, and mostly, being held. And, lucky for her, I looooove carrying babies (it has become my favorite nursing interventions as a pediatric nurse). And so, on top of suctioning her excessive secretions every 4 hours, administering her medications through her GT-GD tube, monitoring her intake and output every hour, and changing her pipi and poopy diapers, I spent most of my days playing with her and holding her in my arms. And I indeed got my arm workouts completed.

Although I would be physically exhausted after my shifts with her, it was worth witnessing her being consoled with an embracing touch. During the times she would fall asleep in my arms, with her head pressed up against my chest, I gazed at her serene demeanor and often thought to myself: "Is this what motherhood feels like?"I've also had to stop myself repeatedly from adopting this chunky little girl. In a certain way, A.A. was raised mostly by hospital volunteers, nurses, patient attendants, respiratory therapists, childlife specialists, and doctors. While the notion of this realization may sound a bit sad, I tell myself that at least she is taken care of by individuals with good intent. Even through all the complications and hardships she has faced, she still has a bright smile and infectiously adorable giggles.

You are well-loved A.A. I hope you do know that.